POLITICAL KOMBAT 12

Elect your Champion!!!

   So if your like me or many others,  you've watched some or all of the Presidential Debates.  While some may view these as wastes of time (because let's face it,  it's alot of talking points),  now the way I see it,  they are just seconds away from trading blows (especially in this last debate).  Now this is where the title of this blog comes into play.  The folks over at Slate have something pretty awesome on their hands.  A few battles from something called Political Kombat 12.  These basically show the candidates duking it out in a winner take all battle to the death.  So let's check out some of the matches so far.

ROUND 1:

MITT ROMNEY VS. HERMAN CAIN

& RICK SANTORUM

   

   The first bout pits Romney against a Tag Team of Cain & Santorum and takes place in Obamaville (a run down town with gas prices at 8.52 a gallon?!?).  This game itself is very similar to Mortal Kombat, in name and in play style.  Each person has different moves (perfect for their character) and a finisher (we don't see everyones).  In this battle,  Herman uses moves like 999 (very underpowered) and creepy ads (I AM AMERICCAAAAA!!!).  Rick's moves really crack me up, SWEATERVEST and Clean Coal are the definite highlights here,  also using Church and State.  But both these guys fall to Romneys'  arsenal,  consisting of Missionary Proposition (what you see in the picture for the video above),  Olympic Savior (he fires the 5 Olympic rings from his robot arm), and he blocks with his Money Shield (which also deflects projectiles).  Of course this is all while sounding like a robot (Genius).  Romney takes the win in this round and finishes off Rick.  First with the Pro Choice Gatling Gun (as Governor Romney), then he has a change of heart and uses a Pro Life Axe (as Candidate Romney).  

   This ends with Rick taunting Mitt after being beaten, saying first " I can't believe I lost to a cult following, flip flopper...", then ending with "and I fully endorse his candidacy".  What a great intro battle, there's still 4 more to come.

ROUND 2:

MITT ROMNEY VS. RON PAUL &

NEWT GINGRICH

  

   So,  Round 2 has Romney fending off more Republican Candidates.  This time it's Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul.  This fight also takes place on Newt's Moonbase (Ha!).   It starts with Newt facing off against Mitt,  using moves like Ethics Violator (a punch to the twig and berries), some type of belly push,  Open Marriage (which ends with Mitt getting hit with a frying pan), and of course Freddie Mac Daddy (he drops a house on him).  Also,  Ron Paul (who fights in a hilarious Monkey Style) joins the fray using Puff Puff Pass (a pot related projectile that sounds funny), Gold Standard (similar to Sub Zeros freeze in MK), and Fan Spam (drops a bunch of fan posts, because the kids get it!).  Of course,  Romney brings one of his old moves into play and some new ones.  Still using his Money Shield (which he uses against Pauls Gold Standard), new to the fray is Blind Trust (Romney puts on a blind fold and money falls from the sky), Romney Care (he wraps up his enemy, similar to Anakaris in Darkstalkers.), and Tax Evasion  (a teleport move like Raidens in MK). He finishes the job with Newt first by Repeling Romneycare (lol) then throwing him into a his dogs travel crate that is strapped to the top of a car (obviously poking at Romneys' remark about where his dog was during their trip years ago).   Newt adds the final defeat remark by saying "You'll never truly defeat a Historian.  We only come back stronger, because we remember stuff!"  A great fight,  now on to the next one.

ROUND 3:

BARACK OBAMA VS. DONALD TRUMP

   Taking place in Trump City (where everything is made of gold apparently),  this battle pits Barack against Trump himself (who is considered a secret character on the roster list).  I will say that one of my favorite things is that, for some reason,  the creators decided to give Barack eyes similar to Akuma.  So now we get to see a whole new set of moves on both sides,  starting with Trump.  He opens the battle with Your Fired (lighting an enemy on fire from a distance),  while using other moves like Make It Rain (throws money in the air),  Birth Certificate (which makes Obama look like a Muslim when hit with it and a move he uses almost constantly, mirroring how Trump really acted with this issue), Comb Over Here (my favorite and very genius, resembles Scorpions hook), and Sold Crushing (drops a for sale then hits him with a wrecking ball).  Of course, Obama brings his own moves to the table.  He uses Supply Chain (a electric charged chain that uses emails to restore Obama's power), Count It (projectile where he shoots a basketball), Ray of Hope (He gets behind a podium and speaks while a giant ray fires at Trump), and Photo Op (his family jumps in for a quick photo that damages the opponent). He finishes off Trump first with the Long Form (shows a form as Trump is basically decimated) then uses Secret Smoke (Obama takes a drag off a cigarette then blows it on Trump, which melts his upper body down to a skeleton).  Trump ends with saying " An 'extremely credible source' told me that Barack Obama's birth certificate is a fraud, and that Americans should watch Celebrity Apprentice sundays at 8pm est".  Another good fight,  now it's time for the Vice Presidential Candidates to duke it out.

ROUND 4:

JOE BIDEN VS. PAUL RYAN

   So, this brings us to the VP fight, taking place on the Commuter Rail.  When the match starts,  Paul Ryan rips off his shirt and turns into something of a Bruce Lee look alike.  Biden is still asleep and the Commentator has to wake him up (I SAID FIGHT!!!).  Then he starts punching Ryan and using moves like Gaffe (A leg comes out of his mouth,  this can be a multi-hit attack like E. Honda's hundred hand slap), Big F'n deal (an F Bomb drops out of the sky to do massive damage), Regular Joe (a copy of Biden as a regular blue collar worker appears and damages Ryan when he touches it), Interruption (stops an attack and calls "malarky"), and Back in Chains (grabs ryan mid air and drags him to him, eventually combined with Regular Joe).  Paul Ryan wins the fight eventually,  using moves like We Did Build It (an kick uppercut like Fei Long would use), P90X (drops a bubble with P90X in it, his projectile), Marathon Time (Runs fast 3 times, something similar to what Kung Lao does in MK), and Budget Cuts (he grabs the Reapers Scythe, hitting Joe 3 times.  Each for Medicare, Social Security, and Sesame Street).  He finishes off Joe with Atlas Shrugged, where he throws the planet Earth on him.  Joe adds in, after being defeated, " My friend, we're not friends anymore! And I would have literally kicked the crap out of you if Bush hadn't left such a mess."

ROUND 5:

THE FINAL ROUND

BARACK OBAMA VS. MITT ROMNEY

This fight has not been made yet.  It will be released after the election is over.  This whole series is a great non game and an awesome satire on both politics and video games.  I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I do.  Make sure to check out the final battle once it occurs.  

Thanks everyone for reading and check out Political Kombat 12 on youtube.   Also don't forget to vote and stuff.